pinakidion.*

Believe it or not, I am glad that campus groups are excited about New Orleans. I would have enjoyed having a service component as part of a conference in my college days. What a good idea to establish the idea of community service as part of campus ministry.

I went to the new site and read the news about things happening around the world. It makes me shrug that most of the good news stories are baptisms - that metric isn’t going to change as I’ve mentioned before. I looked around and saw older messages, and a few pictures. The RightTurn folks made a beautiful sight.

I saw the Study section and found materials provided by the church in Boston. The sections are Apologetics, Bible Talks, D-Groups, Quiet Times, and Study Series Materials. I thought it would be interesting to see what was made available.

Some of the materials are quite disappointing. The discipleship study continues the error that one must be a disciple before baptism. The church study is the same “only one physical church”, the one church is determined by doctrine of salvation. These two are related because of the unique addition of “Have the heart of a disciple” added before baptism. Very disappointing to see Kip’s doctrine perpetuated.

The more stuff I read, the more it felt like 1995 all over again. Building Family talks about spiritual family being more important than physical family. The sin and baptism study includes a note that folks leading the study need to know what the person studying believes about their salvation and to determine if that person is, in fact, saved.

Again, we don’t address doctrine years ago so nothing changes. We are teaching bad doctrine all over again, at least in Boston. These days, though, I think some in attendance are smart enough to know better. I wonder aloud, though, how long those folks will keep coming.

Still, the inclusion of the book How to Pray by RA Torrey is encouraging. A couple of the Apologetics materials are pretty good as well.

When we first met, it seems like you weren’t certain if I could be trusted. You are quite fond of her, and I understand your natural protectiveness. Still, I was glad that we could come to an agreement on that first day. Little did you know that I was going to take you and her a couple states south in a year.

It ’s funny. You complained the entire trip south, yet you let me be your friend. You didn’t get angry at me very much despite feeling sick for most of the trip and despite a lingering sense of mistrust.

We put you in a stranger’s house for a few months after that. You and she were both guests at first, but after a while, it was just you. Just you, a good friend, and that dog you completely despised. I understand, I’m not a small dog kind of person.

After she and I came back from Rome, the three of us lived in a fancy high rise for a short time. It was, in many ways, the place where you always belonged. You could look down at the entire world from the top floor. You basically owned the house all day as we both left to go to work. I’m sure you miss those quiet days now. Don’t worry, someday soon, those quiet days will return.

When we left to move into a house over a century old, you didn’t complain very much. In fact, you enjoyed the fact that she was home quite a bit. In fact, it was then that we started talking to each other more than ever. You would say hello when I came home and then we’d talk about all kinds of things.

She’d roll her eyes at us, but us guys have to stick together, you know.

When we came home that October night, you wouldn’t leave her side. It took awhile for us to explain it, but all you knew was that she had changed and she was very sad. You brought her a lot of comfort although you didn’t see much of us for a couple weeks. When we got home, you would politely say hello to me and then join her in the living room. She still talks about those times.

And one day, we brought him home.

You complained at how noisey he was and how demanding he was and how he took away time that was rightfully yours. Yeah, I can see your point there. Still, when he was asleep in his bassinet, you came back to comfort her through the tears, just like you had always done for the 13 years previous.

You loved the basement in that old house. Unlike me and her, you could ignore the gunfire. You didn’t flinch that night the police came and asked me what I saw and heard. (You did, however, come up to visit me after he left. Thank you for not telling the cop about the Cadillac in the back yard with expired tags.) We stayed over a year at that house and you were mostly happy there.

When we moved again, you were getting used to it, I think. You took to the new house right away. There was real carpet, real heat, no gunfire, closets, and lots of warm sunbeams. He was still your nemesis, but you could easily escape for the first seven months. After that, you decided to sleep downstairs, away from us.

When we brought her home a few months after that, you pretty much decided that we were crazy. Yet, those first few nights when we came home, you knew something was wrong. You were there for her again. I was glad you were, because I couldn’t be there in the daytime. That was a hard one on all of us, but you gave us so much.

Thank you.

But now, dear friend, I see you hurting. You don’t complain, but I know it hurts a lot. I also know that you are embarrassed about this morning, so I don’t mention it to anyone. I wish I could say it happens to all of us, but you and I both know that is not true. I know that you’re much older than me, but it’s no comfort to me. I wish this circumstance was different.

Saturday, I have to transition you again. This time, though, we won’t be joining you. I know you want to do this alone, but I wish you weren’t leaving so soon. I just wish that you knew it was coming. After all you’ve done for her for these 17 years, I just wish it wouldn’t be a big surprise to you. Unfortunately, I cannot change that.

Thank you for noticing that I am feeling sad tonight. I appreciated the quiet time we shared downstairs while the kids and she are asleep. Maybe you know, I dunno. I mean, I saw the xrays. We both know you haven’t been eating. Anyway, you haven’t purred in quite a while, but you purred a good twenty minutes earlier.

For a brief time, I almost forgot.

I don’t know what our time will be like this week. I dread Saturday in some ways. Our children are so fond of you. I am, too.

Let me say this while you are asleep tonight:

Goodbye old friend. May your suffering end. Tell grandma that we miss her, too.

So I am driving to a high school to help a principal locate a missing file. The tech guy at the High school is gone for an entire week. He also did not put the district required software on the principal’s machine to allow me to remotely access her desktop. Thus, I am driving along to meet this principal at her school.

Five minutes into my trip, I realize I went to the wrong school, so I decide to stop and get my bearings and go to the correct school. I pull into a parking lot to hear some nurses remarking about the ugly green color in the sky. They scramble as the head nurse shouts that they are going to evacuate.

It looked like a normal thunderstorm in the distance to me. Then again, I imagine the head nurse lived here for awhile. I wanted to go home, but duty called and I hope to get to the school, .75 miles away, before it rains really hard.

I’m within sight of the school when visibility changes to zero. The car in front of me is no more than 20 yards away from me, but I can only see the brake lights when he/she pushes them. At some point, the rain actually increases in intensity and I hear hail bouncing off the roof of the car. I pull off into a parking lot to wait out the storm. I found an open place sans trees. You may think I’m stupid, but I’ll explain the rationale.

I was in an old section of town. Many of the trees there are huge and 100+ years old. This equates to being a lightning magnet. I’m grounded in the car, but the flaming branch hitting the car is not a pleasant thought.

Anyway, I put the car rear facing the wind and pull the emergency brake. I have one of those cars with a raised back end so that the car slopes downward. This means that unless I face it just right, hail cannot directly strike the back glass.

So you’re saying to yourself, did you actually think through all of this? How long did it take. Yes. Ten seconds. It happens when you live here for awhile. You get 10 minutes warning at best when these storm form and move in. I had two.

So here I am in a parking lot somewhere only vaguely aware of my location. The hail starts coming now in sheets. It is so loud in my car that I am plugging my ears. The radio was up to 9 and I still couldn’t hear it. I don’t really see anything, but I presume that branches are flying around.

At this point, I decide that I should just turn around and go home when I get the chance. Yes, wait for the hail to stop. Wait for the horizontal rain to stop. Wait for the car to stop inching forward - yes the emergency brake is on.

Five minutes later, it all stops. The wind is gone, the hail is gone, the rain is gone. The car is fine and surprisingly undented. I am surrounded by tree limbs and look up to see that I had turned into a parking lot beside an open field. Driving through the branches, I see the other cars creeping along waiting for the sky to open again.

No surprising to folks that know me, I also realized that I am lost. Somewhere in the rain while trying to make my way east, I somehow ended up going in some other compass direction.

Now I realize that my biggest enemy is flash flooding. I try to call home, but the cell tower for my carrier is disabled. (When I later discovered that some places had winds of 115 mph, I understood why.)

Seeing the number of trees and tree branches in the road, all I am trying to do is drive west and north. I just need a numbered street to get my bearings and make my way home. It would take a long time, but eventually it would work. What followed was an odyssey of high tension and failed hopes. As I tried to make my way, the gas light came on. I laugh out loud because it just strikes me as too funny.

The high tension came from confronting impromptu rivers at familiar intersections. Watching a truck plow through one of those intersections, I realize that my car won’t make it through unless I want water to come up to the door handles. North and west, I tell myself. Just drive north and west.

I ended up in a neighborhood north of my home. I knew I was a little over a mile away, I just had to get to a major road. I find the numbered street and make my way west so that the numbers will go up to 90. At 90th street, I’m on a major highway that leads home. I get close only to find perpetual tree blockages. Even heading north, I cannot find a way out, so I head east. I eventually end up at a major road three miles north of home.

At this point, I should mention that there are no working stoplights on in the city at this point. I had been in neighborhoods driving through smaller rivers, so I forgot about that. I turned left (at great risk to life and car) thinking that it was west. After more tree, river, and stoplight issues, I ended up a half-mile EAST of my home. I finally made it to a street that was more or less clear and made my way home (Blondo Street).

I turn onto the street leading home and discover a large tree in the road. I try to drive around it only to find all roads in my neighborhood with big trees in the road. So, I make it back out to Blondo so that I can drive around the block on major roads to enter the street leading to my home from another direction.

From Blondo, it is full stop. Creeping forward I remember that, oh yeah, the I’M REALLY OUT OF GAS LIGHT has been on the entire time. Gas?!? Is there a gas station open at this point? I’ve been driving for an hour, do I really want to get home or stop?

Turns out that there’s no working gas stations anyway. They are out of power. Plenty of gas, just no delivery mechanism. In any case, I finally make it around. The other end of the major street leading to my home also has a tree down blocking the road. This one has a power line entangled in it as well.

At this point, I laugh again. I had enough sense to park the car at a small insurance company and turn off the engine. Yes, I’ll walk home, but at least the car isn’t burning more fumes while I’m appreciating the humor of all of this. I notice the half-inch deep hail in the parking lot. I think to myself, I made it through all of this only to get a head injury slipping on ice in June six blocks from home.

Delicately walking through hail, I also delicately make my way around the fallen tree. There was a path around the tree, through lots of soft mud. I actually walked through someone’s backyard to avoid the tree, power line, and mud. Walking down the road, calls are barreling down the road trying to escape. Whereas I couldn’t get in because of the trees at both ends of the road, they cannot get OUT. Yelling on their cellphones, I think that they have no idea.

I finally make it home only to see leaves pasted to the front of the house and a huge lake for a driveway. Fortunately, my neighbor’s driveway is high and dry, so I walk through it and a little water to get to my front door.

No power.

Who cares?!? I finally made it home. The gas grill is okay, so we’re set. Grill everything, relax at home, chill, relax and have a great time.

An hour later, I ask my wife, What do you mean there’s no meat in the refrigerator?

This means that folks in Raleigh need to email phone numbers to me.

I should be there at least from Oct 19 - 21 for a conference. It will be only me, and not the family for now.

You have been warned.

Otherwise, it’s not so much that there’s a lack of things to write, just writing somewhere else for now. So here’s my ICoC post for now. Who knows when another may come along.

In regards to the ICoC, no major change is going to occur for quite some time, if at all. As a group, reform was largely missed, though some individual locations have done quite a bit. There is no atmosphere for a new Kriete Letter as the monolithic whole is now three parts (four if you count Kip’s group). As a whole, churches appear to be growing.

Three metrics have been presented thus far to demonstrate ‘health’ in the ICoC as a whole. These are numerical growth, increased intra-denominational cooperation, and lack of harshness. The metrics I look at are quite different, but that may or may not be the subject of another post. I will not see things the same as many others, and I have come to accept that. I can help change things locally to a limited extent, but even then, it is not always worth it. As such, there doesn’t appear to be much reason to write about either ICoC, the historical ICoC, or Kip’s group. A discussion would likely devolve into arguing over definitions of words, which should be avoided.

One thing of note that can be said is more of a side note. The Drabots are in Portland talking to Kip’s Portland Church. The Drabots and Johnsons are long-time friends. From a personal perspective, it is encouraging that friends can reconnect though on different sides of an ideological difference. However, it also points to a problem in how we dealt with Kip in the first place.

We excommunicated Kip as a person without repudiating his doctrine. In other words, it was dealt with as a personal issue, addressed as a personal issue, and treated as a punishment to a specific person. It can be argued that his doctrine could not be repudiated because the issue was really his inability to accept less than kingship. While that is true, the main issue is that we did not address our own doctrinal problems. Quick action needed to be taken (and I called for it repeatedly) but an unwillingness to deal with what made him our king in the first place (amongst other things) provided very few options. So, it was basically, You said mean things and wouldn’t take them back and Stop taking our sheep. Important things to say, that is true, yet, without any doctrinal examination, it’s not going to really last. As others have said, we ended up trying to make the doctrine of Kip-Lite work (all the same doctrine, but Kip-Free. Now with UPC added for conviction!)

Case in point, Ron is in Portland. Steve Johnson is not Kip. Steve is milder than Kip. Ron’s issue was with Kip, not Steve. Ron and Steve are long time friends. Begs the question Why can’t we preach at each others churches again? Ron and Steve are swapping churches. Charlotte is Kip-Lite and apparently Portland is also Kip-Lite (or 2% reduced Kip), so why the harsh boundary, right?

Kip’s apologists are already using this line of reasoning to suggest that ICoC leaders are nothing more than power-mongers that were jealous of Kip. More than that, they are now able to make it into a doctrinal issue. Most of them are claiming that the ICoC has changed their doctrine about unity, discipleship, and global missions. These accusations are difficult to answer. If similarities are pointed out, the question is Why Did We Split?. In a sense, is could be asked why not fellowship Kip’s churches if everything is mostly the same? If the differences in doctrine are highlighted, the answer is It’s like we said, you changed your doctrine. It is problematic because it would be a new argument from the ICoC. There is no ability to point to the brother’s letter or anything else and say Here are the doctrinal problems.

With all of that said, though, there’s still not much that will change in the next few years. Kip will be on six continents in about 5 years. There will be another Salt Lake type leaving in 5 to 10 years. In 10 years, the numbers will begin to collapse of Kip’s SODM churches. The ICoC will probably settle into 1%-2% growth in the US and double digit growth overseas for the next 10 years.

The only major issue coming for the ICoC is a growing anti-US sentiment. Will it lead to a split? It’s possible. It will probably take place after certain major characters pass away, if it happens at all. It’s too early to say.

All of this has been said before, thus not much from me. If I don’t see you sooner, see you in October in Raleigh.

Rambling post to follow. You’ve been warned.

September 28 is apparently going to be a day of infamy featuring several pastors endorsing political candidates in similar manner as this one did.

The downside for the congregation is that they lose their tax-exempt status. This would wreck many churches, especially larger ones.

What gets me, though, is the week of prayer about this amongst the church leadership. After a week, the team agreed that God had instructed the minister to do this. (Either that or the minister disregarded the team) The minister is also a delegate to the National Republican Party convention. He insists that God told him, not the powers that be in the party. He also was not instructed by anyone at the ADF.

So what is the benefit of this? If the congregation wins, preachers will be able to endorse candidates from the pulpit on Sunday. If the congregation loses, they may cease to exist or live on in a largely debilitating state of being a tax paying entity.

Seems to me that despite considering it for a month, the idea to avoid doing this was never really given much thought. In the end, the minister says a whole lot of “I” statements and very little about his congregation. In the end, he doesn’t trust his congregation to figure out certain things for themselves - you cannot vote for a pro-choice, pro-LGT candidate and remain a Christian.

I suspect that on Sept 28, that message will be repeated all over the country. I imagine very few will support Obama, and none will threaten their salvation if they support McCain.

Still, I do not believe that the GOP chair or even Karl Rove has orchestrated events to bring this into place. This is not a vast conspiracy with roots in the GOP. It’s a moral failing of our culture that is so consumed with our rights, we look past the rights of others. As much as Christianity is about being a part of the culture without conforming to the culture, all of us get tempted to be selfish. All of us get tempted to be upset when any of our rights (real and imagined) are threatened, but passive when others are deprived of their rights. Reverend King was concerned with the rights of the many, but we are not like Reverend King. We look only to our own personal affairs.

Back to the pastor in the story, I really believe that one must choose to be a minister or a political activist. Delegates have some political power. I do not know how someone can minister to their congregation and wield political power at the same time. As far as I understand, Jesus did not espouse a political solution. Jesus’ message was a personal one. His way of life requires relationship - relationship to God and relationship to each other. In other words, man cannot serve two masters, politics and God.

In fairness to this minister, I believe this is not limited to the GOP. This is the consequence of the admixture of politics and religion. It’s why I believe in the Establishment Clause of the Constitution and the limit of government to establish religion. Even the best and most golden-hearted of us (including King and others) lose our religion in politics. Politics is rooted in the world while faith is rooted in Jesus.

Again, we should be in the world and be politically active to a certain extent. Some may choose to not be politically active, that’s fine, too. But we should not be of the world. There are more important things that the platform of the DNC.

I mention the delphites from time to time. Those are folks who, like myself, visit Delphi Forums. I go to several forums on the site - three related to the ICoC and ten related to sports board games.

From one of the ICoC forums, a poster identified as Bruford1 says the following:

There is a world of difference between people who love God, and people who love church.

This is listed as one of the lessons he learned from his time in the ICoC. I wish I had thought of that. I agree with it as a standalone statement. It seems to be true from my experience with the 700 Club, ICoC, and other groups.

In case you were wondering, my list was

• Those that pretend to speak for God do more damage than those that reject God.
• Power Corrupts. Power still corrupts. Nice power corrupts nicely.
• God is bigger than I can imagine. He will not be put into a box.
• My life is mine, even as a Christian. He gave it back to me because He trusts me.
• Follow the money.
• Out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.
• All politics is local.

It’s an incomplete list. I should also have added the two things from a previous post about the good of the ICoC.

I would have been MC D-Sisive (the one wearing glasses).

An old post based on a link from Cryptoguy

The original link was from Preach Mike who makes a valid, if somewhat incomplete point. Look at some of the Delphites and it’s easy to spot the teenagers. By this model, I was a teenager for a while. Hello pot, this is the kettle…

Why incomplete? I think it is incomplete because there is a reasonable assumption that a person’s spiritual history has good and bad elements. However reasonable it is, it is not logical - an assumption that all experience falls between two extremes is the Middle Ground Fallacy. Having said that, the message of the post is reasonable and worth investigating a bit.

I often say that 85% of the historical ICoC (1979 - 2002ish) was bad and/or evil. That’s a high percentage by anyone’s standard. Yes the number is arbitrary, I choose it because it quantifies “a lot” a more clearly. In other words, saying that a lot of what we were was bad/or evil doesn’t express as clearly my thoughts as much as providing a number.

In any case, let me talk about the good from my more recent religious heritage:

• They were very good at making a message portable and easily transferable from any member to another member.
• They were, in some ways, egalitarian in regards to the role of women. (Think communion without a man to introduce the sister speaking.)

I am grateful for these things, really. I didn’t realize until I started working with other churches how helpless the average member of those churches felt in sharing with others. If someone wanted to join, the member would have them call the preacher. QED, problem solved. In the ICOC, our message was supplied with a straightforward way of presenting it to others. I never felt much at a loss of what to say. If I didn’t know what to say, I’d rattle off points from the Word study. Though my theology has changed, I still look for ways to transfer the gospel in easily portable ways.

Women, for the most part, were highly regarded in role. Women preached (albeit only to other women), shared at communion, helped their male counterparts shape ministries, and were generally considered a good resource. What do the sisters think was a common question. The input given was actually considered and usually followed. I appreciate that experience from my past.

I almost didn’t list this one because the role of women in some ways was very rigid. My experience was that this role was tolerated by the wives of leaders because the political reality was that they were running the show. Single sisters controlled who would date more than any of the other leaders. I don’t believe that my experience was universal to the denomination as a whole. This experience was also not the same from start to end.

Anywho, that’s my thought for the day. There is most likely some good in your experience if you look for it.

Meetup location:
* 41.179467°, -95.861537° or
* N41°10.768′, W95°51.6921′ or
* N41°10′46.08″, W95°51′41.52″

This is in an unaccessible location on someone’s farm. Meeting postponed.

To understand the madness, look here

see more crazy cat pics

I have another one regarding the “Who Is My Brother” seminar (read - the UPC RULEZ!), but I’ve been doing other things lately. Enjoyed beautimous weather and Mahoney State Park this weekend. Life is good all around.

more cat pictures

Yeah, it’s a strange one today. Feeling a bit disconnected from reality, so enjoy something that is descriptive of my weird sense of humor.

The following is most of the text for an email I will send to the minister. Certain details are different but that’s more of privacy than anything. I also didn’t include any local issues other than the ones already discussed with someone on either the Deacon Board or the Financial Board.

Where Ya Been?
I’ve been asking God to actually speak to me this year. I am quite adamant, it has to be Him, not my voice, the voice of a minister, or the voice of a believing friend. It had to be Him and only Him in simple terms that I can understand. That was January of this year, before that the big ongoing prayer was “make me into something different”. I felt like I had a character flaw that needed to be removed from me. I clung to 2 Co 12:9 for dear life, even if it upset me that the answer may actually be ‘no, rely on my grace more’. Mostly, though, I’ve been in the land of Nod, east of Eden.

Nod is a place of hard work, little reward, and great frustration. Frustration is the most accurate way to describe where I’ve been. This wasn’t a localized frustration, this was with most areas of my life. I was frustrated that I am unable to read the Bible and enjoy it. I was frsutrated that my denomination is doing crazy things that hurt others. I was frustrated that my family was not doing very well. Praying only made me angry – the more I prayed, the angrier I got. After a while, my conversations with God were basically angry from start to finish. I fell into fatalism (not a slam on Calvinism) and basically shrugged whenever I addressed the Almighty.

Why pray at all? Habit, I guess. I would start to pray and catch myself. I’d apologize to God for taking his name in vain and mention that I still can’t hear Him. There weren’t many prayers outside of the morning prayer of “Still me. Still can’t hear you. You’re still soveriegn. Whenever your timing allows, it’d be nice to hear from you. Since all things are foreordained, I’ll just say goodbye for now instead of so be it.” (One translation of Amen is ‘so be it’.)

I knew He cared, but since He is soveriegn, I couldn’t rush Him or change His mind or otherwise change the events He set into motion before the creation of the world. There was not any real reason to get all worked up about when He’d answer or what His answer would be. He cares, He’ll do what He does, when he does it, and I just have to wait on His timing. Of course, I ended up getting all worked up about it. When the Bible speaks of a dividing wall of hostility, I know what it means from personal experience.

Backing up a little bit, I had been praying that I could just accept. For example, when someone addresses a church and talks about getting back to discipling, I want to just accept that is good for them, even when they are proclaiming that it is a biblical mandate. I would beg God to prevent me from being triggered by anything. Despite that, I felt like I was triggered every week. The downside of thinking that about 85% of what my denomination (and myself as a former member) did was in error is that there are a lot of triggers.

I was tired of asking ‘why’ and trying to explain that I wasn’t bitter about my past. I was tired of having many queries turned back on me when I sought clarification. I was tired of leaders in other churches contacting me because I had sent an email to a third party. I was really tired that justice felt delayed and that no one was listening. I had reasoned that if I wasn’t triggered in the first place to ask ‘why?’ or ask ‘can this be done biblically?’ or ask ‘where is that in the Bible?’ then I could be more at peace because nothing would really bother me. I’ve been praying for things to stop bothering me now for at least two years, maybe longer.

It’s not a great epiphany that straightened this all out. I finally heard Him, which is what I wanted all along. No, I didn’t hear the James Earl Jones voiceover or see a beam of light. After the 80millionth “just help me”, the answer came through a discussion with my wife and more came later after some time to retreat.

God made me to ask ‘why’. I’m always going to want to know ‘why’. It is a good thing to ask ‘why’. The idea He gave me was, “Be who I created you to be.”

It is human nature to complicate a simple idea with explanations and caveats of possible implications. Sometimes, this can ruin a mountaintop experience. Fortunately, this is much less an emotional experience than a spiritual experience. It is the feeling that the tumblers of the combination lock have just set in the right place in order to open the door. It is something that resonantes in mind and spirit, not just the heart. Still, it is fair to provide a little bit more of what that really means in a practical sense.

Sin is a part of my life, but I was not created to sin. (Romans 6:1-2)
No one was created to be sinful. As a result of the fall, sin is a part of our lives and even a part of our nature. Still, God did create sin into us. It is not our purpose to sin. Through Jesus we are forgiven of our sin and live under grace. That grace is not a license to sin.

Practically what this means is that I am not created to sin against others. Sure, we may get into conflict (not a sin), but it can be worked out. Despite my best intentions, I am going to say things that will hurt another person’s feelings or offend them in some way. When that happens, I should deal with it the best way available. Knowing that some offense is inevitable, however, does not provide license to wantonly abuse others only to claim that they misunderstood my intentions. Injury (real or perceived) has occurred and that injury must be addressed. Aruging about intention rarely resolves anything. Put another way; if I rear-end someone’s car, should I apologize or suggest that they not put on brakes?

Asking ‘why’ also creates discomfort. It is the same kind of discomfort that I had in discussing my vasectomy with anyone. I don’t mean the procedure itself, but my need to have it in the first place. The why questions are:

• Why do I have some 1 in 6.4 million genetic rarity that no one can readily explain?
• Why will my children have to be concerned that their children may have more severe issues than they had?
• Why was I created to pass this anomaly on?

In talking to others about it, many would say things to me like ‘two is a good number’ and ‘you got one of each’. I would mention that part of dealing with this is that my wife and I always wanted three children. In my own mind, I asked the question, “Why would you risk having a third child with potentially severe medical issues?” Thankfully, none of my friends and family spoke this question aloud to me. They would ask other why questions focused on “why are you so certain that the genetic issue is you?”. I bring all this up to say that asking the former question (why a third child with issues) is the type of question I want to avoid. The latter question (why do you think it is you) is uncomfortable to discuss, but was ultimately helpful in dealing with the situation. This is the type of why question I want to ask.

Some things are not my fight (Proverbs 26:17-21)
Dr. King once said that the absence of tension is negative peace, while positive peace is the presence of justice. Put another way, negative peace is only the absence of direct violence while a positive peace is also the absence of structural and cultural violence. In terms of the ICoC, I believe that most, if not all of the direct abuse and problems have been addressed while some of the structual and cultural issues have not. As someone that is a part of this community, it is fair to discuss structural and cultural issues. However, personal issues are not mine to deal with. If someone invites me, I’ll still tend to avoid it unless both parties are comfortable with my presence. I cannot make every situation resolve well and it is unwise to invite myself to be party to a conflict I’m not a part of. So if you want me to talk to your minister, I’ll poltiely decline.

Epilogue
All of this is well and good, you may say, but what about the angry praying and Bible reading and all of that? Good question. As far as praying goes, I follow the advice of John Piper and work through prayer in eight steps:

1. Incline my heart to god (Psalm 119:36 RSV)
2. Open the eyes of my heart (Psalm 119:18)
3. Enlighten my heart (Ephesian 1:18)
4. Be united in heart (Psalm 86:11)
5. Be satisfied with God (Psalm 90:14 RSV)
6. Strengthen my joy (Ephesians 3:16)
7. Pray to produce acts of love and service (Colossians 1:10)
8. Hallowed be your name (Matthew 6:9)

This works pretty well on days where I am disciplined enough to do it correctly. Sometimes I get stuck at step 1, sometimes step 4, other times step 5. Sometimes I do step 6 in unhealthy ways, but I’ll get better over time. I want the final step to be more than an afterthought. I want to end prayers differently that “your will be done in Jesus name, Amen.”

As far as the reading goes, it is still difficult to hear God’s voice, even after I pray. I still hear so many commentaries and speakers that I wish I could unlearn. Being able to be at peace with God frees me up to deal with this. I still feel like it’s not as ‘deep’ as I want it, but at least it doesn’t frustrate me so much anymore.

Thank you for being my friends and reading. You are a blessing to me and I hope to be a blessing to others.

see more crazy cat pics

In other news, I’m back. I spent a lot of time in Sycarion land and plan to spend more time there. Really though, I’m back in more ways than one. What does that mean? That means ICoC content. That means more Bible stuff. That means asking a lot of ‘why’ questions, but not asking a leading question (negative sense of a leading question, that is). Call it an epiphany or an answered prayer. Point is, I’ve come back from this long pit. I’ll explain the reasons behind it soon.

As always, more later.

Feel free to send money or recipes. Good healthy stuff is nice as I am working my way down.

Suppose your church leader received this email and asked you what you would suggest. Any takers?

Dear Delegates:

I pray this email finds all of you well and close to God!

I am sending this out in preparation for our International Leadership Conference.

Please take a moment to send this out to the people that you are representing and ask them to fill it out, too.

What are 4 areas of spirituality, leadership or church building that you feel needs to be addressed or taught at the ILC.

Who do you feel like could preach/teach effectively on these topics.

1. Need and Who:

2. Need and Who:

3. Need and Who:

4. Need and Who:

5. What is on your heart personally or what has God revealed to you recently, as you have been serving God’s Kingdom.
(in other words - if you were to offer a lesson to the Kingdom - what would be the topic.)

Now, I can tell you who I think will fill these slots for my former denomination, but just for fun, what you would say?

You’re The Mists of Avalon!
by Marion Zimmer Bradley
You’re obsessed with Camelot in all its forms, from Arthurian legend
to the Kennedy administration. Your favorite movie from childhood was "The Sword in
the Stone". But more than tales of wizardry and Cuban missiles, you’ve focused on
women. You know that they truly hold all the power. You always wished you could meet
Jackie Kennedy.

Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

I am here, just not writing on this site. I’m still listening to the Who’s My Brother series from Chicago. One person in attendance there has said that it should not be what I expected. I must confess that I listened to Tony Singh’s presentation first, which was a pretty bad idea because of the lack of context.

I can say, however, that regardless of context, the body of scripture used has been largely used to justify any separation over ANY issue. That doesn’t make the point less reasonable, just not well-proven.

I am interesting in what a conscience family is. This is a coined term either or Steve or F. LaGard Smith. I hope it is better defined than missional, a word that has come to mean just about anything.

I am otherwise doing well and the family is working through the last round of disease going through the family. I am working with a print on demand playing card company on something for sycarion. I’m trying to play some statis-Pro Football. Otherwise, I look forward to warmer weather.

My wife is Vice-President of the Hands and Voices chapter in Nebraska. Actually, she is co-veep. We felt that we needed two to promote work in each half of the state. My wife is the veep for the eastern half. She is also soon to be published on the Boys Town website. I am very proud of her.

More later. Really. More later.

I strike an odd figure in many places. Sometimes it is my size, other times it is an unintentional act of completely disregarding my surroundings. Earlier today, for example, I’m sitting in the parking lot of a discount grocery store with the window down in our car. Not that strange, I know. It’s not like I can shop at Nieman-Marcus. The notable thing is that two cars somewhere on the lot are pumping out 50 cent (I recognized the tune) and Shawty Lo, respectively. Me? I’m pumping out opera while munching on a couple of cheap deli burritos. I’m sure that my two-day old beard adds to an air of urban sophistication amongst so many of my NPR listening brethren.

I’m an old school kind of guy, I still have NWA on my portable hard drive. The opera is real old school, of course, but not everyone kicks to DJ Vivaldi.

On to the next episode

While I was home on vacation, I came upon the other black sheep in my family. Those that know my family may marvel that there are only two black sheep in the family. I would consider the entire clan to be on the fringe of genteel society as it is. One uncle is the man’s man with two Harleys, two prison-style tattooed sleeves, a room with the fur of more dead animals than Hemingway, etc. You know what I mean.

His idea of gun control is using a 22 caliber pistol.

Anyway, he sees my daughter and just melts. He makes faces, sings songs, and in general acts like the jolly ol’ Saint Nick of yore. She reaches out to him and they have a grand time as he dances with her in my mother’s front yard. You see, he’s always loved kids. His license plate on the HUM-V (not a Hummer, a HUM-V) he drives is a tribute to his daughters.

My other uncle has raised his nine children in what I choose to call an “aggressive” manner. All his sons are aggressive and play physical jokes on each other. If you’ve ever seen Bam Margera and all the things he does to his step-father, imagine five Bams and a father that fights back. The standing rule is that if you break, you pay to fix it.

Having said that, I enjoy being with them because there is zero pretension. Everyone is who they say they are. No fronts, no lies, no dishonesty. We sat down to dinner and everyone just started talking about which teacher is afraid of which child, how many kids they are have, why did I move to Nebraska, etc. Spiral Ham, box Mac-n-Cheese, and collard greens. It was a great time.

I really went to see my grandfather who is 91. My grandmother passed away two years ago - she had a few medical problems, but basically died after years of just giving up. I think it was about 15 years ago, she decided that she could not walk and did not from that day forward. My grandfather did all he could to take care of her.

After she passed, he wasn’t able to live alone in the house he shared with her for what must have been 50 years. He sold it the day before I saw him. It’s a house I lived in for a time while I went to Kindegarden and a couple summers. I wished I could have seen it one last time.

My grandfather now lives with my uncle, his middle son. All my relatives told me that he wasn’t long for this world. I was eager to see him. I couldn’t come back for my grandmother’s funeral, though I was supposed to be a pall bearer. Of all the children and grandchildren, Pop always said he favored me the most and that means a lot to me.

He told me that he couldn’t hear anything because the batteries in his hearing aids all died. Truth is, he just doesn’t want to wear them. I told him he could wear my son’s if that helped. I couldn’t take Brother Bear with me that night as he was already asleep, but something about a two year old wearing a hearing aid sparked something within him, I guess.

I showed him some pictures of the kids. He didn’t say anything. Every once in a while, he would glance up at the big screen tv blaring behind us. Most of the family wrestled in and out of the room while we were talking, so it wasn’t that much of a distraction. Pop worked in the Naval Shipyards for decades out of Norfolk, VA. He worked on a lot of navy boats still in service today. He could say a lot about so much history.

But he chose to say little except that he was glad to see me.

Everyone was home for Easter dinner, and Pop would be the head of the table as always. The Easter tradition is that those sitting closest to the foot of the table had the luckier seat. I was in the luckiest seat, something everyone reminded me of twice. As we ate, Pop watched silently as everyone ate. Once in a while, one of my cousins would lean over and tell him a joke and he’d draw his face into the world’s largest smile and open his mouth to laugh. Yet, he was silent. Still, he had a face that invited laughter and we’d all join in. During those times, his Lasik-corrected eyes would twinkle just a little. It was like the grandfather of my childhood was back. I felt lucky to see him laugh, he had laughed so little the past five years as my grandmother deteriorated and eventually passed away.

After dinner, I had to leave in order to pack for home tomorrow morning. I tarried a bit longer to tell him that I had to leave.

His face grew long and his eyes welled up with tears. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, “Goodbye”. We both knew what he meant. I hugged him once more and left.

With all the oddballs in my family, and I am certainly the oddest, my Pop is unique amongst them all. He loves to laugh, he loves to share what he has, he loves children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren, and great-great grandchildren. His words have always been few and carefully chosen. That has given him a certain presence that all the rest of us lack. He was always the stable, dependable one in a chaotic sea of family that splashed and sloshed across the US.

I miss him already.

Per custom, the theme is changed for April 1st.

Um. Yeah.

Some other things of note. Again, this is so I can understand my own notes later.

• Mt. Vernon, Indiana, one of three Mt. Vernon’s I passed at high speed (Virginia, Iowa)
• Rebel Yell in Paducah, Ky.
• Why my son loves country music
• Can’t make it to Knoxville. We made it to Knoxville.
• Blue Ridge Parkway.
• How to tell a good story over time
• Receptacle of Memories discussion
• Brother Bear meets a real chicken and egg situation
• Black Market Dairy and the cravings of the modern toddler
• Having Dirt does not equal sharing Dirt with a spouse
• Chick-Fil-A at last (and for the only time) in Burlington
• Raleigh is not how I remember
• This is home.
• The ocean is overrated, how about less sand and wind?
• Where is my family?
• Eeek a mouse.
• One Black Sheep meets the Other Black Sheep in the family.
• What do you mean we have to go back a different way?
• Easter at Sunrise, Easter with Dad.
• Brother Bear steals the hearts of many, including another set of parents of a deaf child.
• Too much food.
• There are good thing in Washington DC, really. No, really.
• Gallaudet University trip.
• Welcome to W. Va, Pennsylvania, W. Va, Ohio. What?
• Finally, the family has come back to arrived in Columbus.
• Snow? Iowa?
• Will it play in Peoria? Yes.
• Old Republican Women and why they like Obama.
• Nut in Frostburg, Md that thinks the British are coming.
• Why I really hate fast food (with two exceptions)
• Is this really home?
• Honey, we forget something on the counter…

There’s more, but that’s enough for now. Gotta run, my Saturday writing time is up.

I’m not going to go day by day. However, there’s a couple of other things I have to write down now before I forget. I’m been holding on to them for 2.5 weeks.

Post-Discipleship Renaissance
I read an article by Jeff Bridges about his own belief until a few years ago. He believed that he needed the gospel until he became a Christian, then needed discipleship from that point until death. This made him rather miserable and made his Christian walk an endless chore. He resolved it in part by recognizing that he needed the gospel his entire life. The rest, you can read for yourself. (Insert Link) I struggle to find out what it means for me in my own life as I have a much better idea of what I see as damaging than what I see as helpful. I see a three year structured program for new believers as helpful. I see the goal of teaching people to take their own spirituality seriously as good. I see the idea that each believer as the only one responsible for their walk with God as a good one. Still, what that looks like in a general sense is hard for me to imagine. I know what it looks like for me, but not so much for others.

I’m surrounded by many that believe that ICoC-style discipleship is the biblical ideal. I say ICoC style, but it’s really a light version stripped of any authority. As I continue to say, our form of discipleship comes from the Ft. Lauderdale Five that launched the Shepherding Movement. From those five, it spread into the Navigators, Campus Crusade (through Bill Bright), Churches of Christ (including Crossroads), and others. The sixties in Florida must have been really something. All of these connections start with these five men that decided to be spiritual minders to each other. Four of the five have denounced these teachings.

So what was discipleship like in the US in the 40s? That preceded the so-called biblical model of having a spiritual big brother, so I was interested in what was there. So far, the search have provided a model that has two of the three primary characteristics I espouse in discipleship. (Insert Link) Those two are structure and temporary duration. The third, voluntary participation didn’t seem to be there and it seems this program led to church problems.

(fragment) It seems that post-2003, discipleship can be determined in a few ways:

1. Do what we always did.
2. Be nicer about what we always did by removing some level or all authority.
3. Do nothing.
4. Make discipleship a team sport.
5. Do something different.

I’ve seen all these optionsdone , but I will say that option 5 seems to scare people the most. I wish it didn’t.

More on that later, just had to write it down.

The next two are personally related, though they deal with ICoC issues. The first, I’ll just leave as is. The second, though is more important to me. Unity is still a big interest of mine, though I feel as if I have become more liberal that F. Lagard Smith in that regard. I could say that I’m sorta like Campbell who considered a Calvinist his brother in Christ(insert link).

Reap the Whirlwind
Not two weeks old, but troublesome. RD Baker has been pushed out of Phoenix. I won’t say more about it because I am not there. John Augustine might want to remove the good review written by RD. I’m sure that certain folks in Phoenix wish that Google could be ‘cleansed’. Oh well.

Who Is My Brother?
Chicago is doing a big thing on fellowship and inter-denomination dating. I hope this is an extension of reaching out to COC’s in the area. Naperville reached out to them back in 2003 and their minister even presented a paper at Douglas Jacoby’s ITS conference. I met Rich and he is a great guy.

However, I will say that from the UPC, all that can be said is that we can fellowship with those that believe in believer’s baptism, an inerrant Bible, unmistakable repentance (a quote), and discipleship that has some sort of challenge to a Christian (amongst other things) and you cannot believe in what is called hyper-autonomy. You can date someone outside the ICoC as long as they pretty much believe what the ICoC (Cooperative Churches) espouse in the UPC.

Any deviation from this and Chicago, the unofficial HQ of the ICoC (Cooperative Churches), will be invalidating its own documented beliefs. I know that it was designed to address churches within the historical ICoC, but any real meaningful cooperative efforts with non-ICoC congregations must be similar to the measures described in the Regional Partnership section (sans delegates), otherwise it is just lip service.

See, if you want a denomination, you have to go through the procedural channels to change to core document. After all, as stated in the clarifying documentation, you have to believe all of it in order to sign. If April 12 provides a different message, they will not be following their own rules. Granted, I’ll be delighted if they say something different, but the means do not justify the ends. Either go through proper channels and change the UPC or get rid of it altogether. The authors were the ones that put in the all-or-nothing provision in the first place.

(fragment)Who Is My Brother is the wrong question. Jesus clearly stated who is my brother. Whom can I marry is also the wrong question. The question is, are these two people ready for marriage. I felt prepared for my marriage because of the preparation given to us by an older couple that has been through everything at least twice. We also had the help of Family Dynamics. Despite a short courtship, we laid a foundation that has served us through all kinds of trials and major disagreements. This may not help everyone, but a rash marriage is unwise even if the two people has exactly identical beliefs.

Trying to front-load the question ahead of time by writing off entire denominations is similar to what the Pharisees did. In order to build a protective hedge, they would write off all kinds of things that were perfectly fine (Such as healing on the Sabbath) and prohibiting things that were actually good (Corban substitution trick).

As always, more on that later. Again, I will celebrate in the streets if the message on April 12 is different from the UPC. I hope that cooperation will begin with other churches in the area, RM or not.

More on the trip coming up later this week.